Does Islam Recognize Emotional Distress?

Allah (swt) created humans with emotions. This simply means that some times will be happy and other sad. The Quran mentions many prophets and their grief, comforting us that it is natural to fall into a state of despair. And prophets are the closest to Allah (swt), because of their unwavering faith and elevated worship. Let us look at some examples.

The Quran describes Maryam’s (as) anxiety, when she was amidst labour pains: “But he called her from below her, ‘Do not grieve; your Lord has provided beneath you a stream.’” (Maryam 19:24)

Yaqoob’s (as) pain of separation from his beloved son Yusuf (as) has been captured in the Quran: “He said: ‘I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah, and I know from Allah that which you do not know.’” (Yusuf 12:86)

Hence, sadness or anxiety does not turn one into a sinner. People, who are very spiritually active, can actually fall prey to this. Also, it is not gender specific, as we observe that the Quran has spoken about the suffering of both males and females. Why did the Prophet (sa) teach us this Dua if there was no possibility of grief and emotional distress in a Muslim’s life?

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْهَمِّ وَالْحَزَنِ، وَالْعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ، وَالْجُبْنِ وَالْبُخْلِ، وَضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ، وَغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ

“O Allah! I seek refuge with You from worry and grief, from incapacity and laziness, from cowardice and miserliness, from being heavily in debt and from being overpowered by (other) men.” (Bukhari)

Generally, fear or lack of understanding leads people to believe that their own emotional distress or that of others is to be kept confidential and not talked about. It is considered as a social stigma; hence, society needs to be educated that just like any physical afflictions, such as typhoid or Dengue, we should also acknowledge emotional issues and approach a specialist for advice, if needed. Yet another perceived stigma is to imagine that one has gone mad and should stay silent about it. Here we need to support such individuals and debunk the myths.

Most importantly, we were not sent into this world to enjoy. Our life is a mission, and like every mission, it is full of obstacles and tests. Paradise is where we will have no fear or sadness – it will be the ultimate abode of true lasting joy. The Quran fixes our perspective: “And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient.” (Al-Baqarah 2:155)

We will be discussing some conditions that are normal and can be self-managed through changes in lifestyle, and yet others that may require medical expertise and therapy.

Know the Difference

What Most of Us Need

1. Self-care

It is a very bad idea to jump out of bed and immediately fall into our basket of daily tasks. When we do not take the time out to care for ourselves in terms of a timely Fajr, morning Azkaar, presentable appearance, and healthy breakfast, then we are beginning the day with half energy, low self-esteem, de-motivation and self pity.

Do not wait for someone else to pamper you. Do the basics yourself, because you owe it to your soul and body. It lifts the inner weather, which is controlled by you, and you are better prepared to fight the outer weather, which you cannot control.

2. Iman boosters

We must recognize that our spiritual existence impacts us greatly. We are a combination of body and soul, as mentioned earlier; hence, feed your soul every day, just like you feed your body.

This includes:

• Reciting the Fajr and Asr Azkaar of Prophet (sa) for Aafiyah (security).
• Offering our five daily prayers on time.
• Reading the Quran, if only three verses but with translation, so we know what Allah (swt) is telling us.
• Making Dua every day shows that we trust Him.
• Listening to talks by motivational speakers and scholars for correct Islamic guidelines.
• Hastening to perform good deeds.
• Adopting a lifestyle and keeping company that facilitates expiation of sins.
• Uttering phrases of Shukr, even for a glass of water.

It will act like a light in the darkness for you.

3. Support structure

You must have someone, who believes in you. It could be your parent, a sibling, your spouse, your teacher, your child, your friend, a colleague or a neighbour.

It should be someone who:

• Can help you out of the doldrums
• Aid you in seeing the silver lining of the cloud
• Is positive, believing and hopeful
• Is wise enough to help you see a brighter tomorrow

Look around to identify who that can be. This is critical.

A word of caution: Never share your doleful feelings on social media with hundreds of people. Public advise is fickle. They do not know, who you truly are and where you are coming from. Neither are they competent to dish advise. Sometimes the worst suggestions come from chats and groups formed online of people, who think they are doing a service to others, while in fact they are ruining somebody’s life. They are actually offering personal opinions and not well researched advise based on expertise and evidence.

Apart from the above, empower yourself with some proactive tips so you deal with your emotional suffering better:

1. Pay attention to your thoughts and body during calm and stressful times.
2. Accept that anxiety levels do go up and down.
3. Pay attention to your triggers and try to avoid them.
4. Transform your thought process.
5. Learn and practice some anxiety reducing techniques.
6. Live in the present moment, rather than spend time worrying about the past and the future.

What Our Body Needs?

It is up to us to arrange the above for ourselves. Also, ask for help from trusted near and dear ones to create an atmosphere in the family and workplaces that encourage the above.

Comfort by Your Lord

The Quran states: “Unquestionably, [for] the allies of Allah there will be no fear concerning them, nor will they grieve.” (Yunus 10:62)

“So do not weaken and do not grieve, and you will be superior if you are [true] believers.” (Al Imran 3:139)

Adapted from Dr. Kanwal Qaiser’s talk “Finding Inner Balance and Peace” at Azaan conference, Karachi