Building Successful Relationships

1. Make Dua. Pray that Allah (swt) grants you the determination to take care of your relationship and facilitate those actions that need to be taken. Personal resolve is never enough – we all need Allah’s (swt) guidance, protection, and mercy when dealing with others.
2. Take candid feedback from your relations. Ask them to tell you honestly what they feel needs to be changed and improved in you. Consider their feedback as a favour upon you. Do not be threatened by criticism, because it is the best way to renew yourself.
3. Look for mentors. Find a person who has more wisdom, character, knowledge, and experience than you. Best mentors are those who consider this world as worthless, and the worst ones are those who are materialistic. Be cautious.
4. Do a personal audit. Spend time with yourself as per need. Analyze what you were trying to change last year and what needs to be changed this year. Realize that you are answerable for your actions, so they better be your finest.
5. Assess needs and join a training programme. We seldom realize that we need to grow spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually every day. Our education and development must not end with school and college. Relationships need maturity, so we need to nurture our growth requirements.
6. Understand that people are important. In Islam’s paradigm, people are given the most importance. Work, profit, money, benefits, and opportunities are all secondary. Today’s education has led to socio-economic exclusion. We now have lower and upper scale of people, who never inter-mingle. Twenty years ago, this was not the case.
7. Connection does not depend on proximity. Even far apart, one can enjoy great relationships based on mutual needs and reciprocation. On the other hand, sometimes people living in the same bedroom hardly converse with each other and live like mere roommates.
8. Be the first one to observe, listen, and understand and the last one to speak. Every story has two sides, but we often get to hear only one, which is biased and self-serving. Similarly, for relationships to thrive and move forward, one needs to be a silent observer and patient listener. Often we misunderstand the intentions of the other party and end up forming damaging opinions.

Relationships can only benefit those who value them and who place a non-negotiable prize to them. But the new world order dictates that personal freedom and happiness at any cost is the mantra of today’s times. And that is the greatest obstacle to a content family life that is poisoned by self-destructive ideas based on doubts and desires. And nothing can be more truthful than this:

“Happy families are not accidental. They are a product of sacrifice, time, care and concern.” (Shaikh Naimatullah)