Product Categories
  • Items on Sale
  • Eid-ul-Adha Special
  • Environment
  • Hajj and Umrah
  • Islamic Events
  • New Year
  • Nikah / Engagement
  • Ramadan Special
  • Sunnah Gifts
  • Teacher Appreciation
  • Books by Age Group
    • Books for 3-6 years
    • Books for 7-10 years
    • Books for 8-12 years
  • Accessories
    • Badges
    • Coasters
    • Keychains
    • Magnetic Bookmarks
    • Magnets
    • Mugs
    • Notebooks
    • Tote bags
    • Wall Tiles
    • Water Bottles
  • Children’s Books by Theme
    • Islamic Fiction Novels
    • Hibakidz Magazine
      • Magazine Subscription
    • Storybooks and activity books
    • Tawheed Books for Children
  • Books for Adults
    • Dua books and cards
    • Communication Builders
    • Goal Planners
    • Hiba Magazine
    • Marriage Special
Cart ₨ 0.00 0 0

No products in the cart.

Return To Shop
Shopping cart (0)
Subtotal: ₨ 0.00

Checkout

Return to previous page
Home Youth Forum and Teen Talk

Dear Haadia

Youth Forum and Teen Talk

Dear Haadia

August 8, 2017 /Posted byHaadia / 1381

We find two Ahadeeth with criteria for selecting one’s spouse-to-be. In one, Allah’s Messenger (sa) has advised to pick a wife who follows her Deen, and keep other priorities, such as her wealth, status and lineage, on a lower scale. On the other hand, there was an occasion, when he advised a Sahabi to look at the girl he was getting married to. Can we have an explanation for the above two, in order to guide youngsters who are planning to get married?

Answer: We can easily reconcile these two apparently contradictory scenarios that are found in the Sunnah.

For marriage, a Muslim man should give the highest priority to a girl’s piety and practice of religion, as you have stated. However, our Prophet (sa) advised looking at her towards the end of the proposal process, when the two families have negotiated other matters, and a positive outcome seems imminent. At this point, the young man may look at the girl, in order to prevent possible disappointment or physical revulsion, when he sees her in person after marriage.

It was narrated that a man wanted to marry a daughter of one of the Companions who was a resident of Madinah. The Prophet (sa) said to him: “Go and look, and then marry. There is something in the eyes of the Companions.” (Muslim)

As this narration indicates, it serves as a safety net to look at the prospective girl in order to identify any deformity or physical defect that can turn off her future husband, or vice versa. Marriage means conjugal relations, for which physical attraction plays an important part. Though it is mostly enough for his female relatives to describe the girl to him, a man is still permitted to look. As to the extent of looking and what the girl is permitted to show, Shaykh Uthaymeen at IslamQA.com gives us the details in Question 102369, where he says:

“It is permissible for the suitor to see the woman to whom he is proposing marriage, but that is subject to certain conditions:

  1. That he needs to see her. If there is no need, then the basic principle is that a man should not look at a woman, who is a non-Mahram to him.
  2. He should have made up his mind that he wants to propose. If he is still hesitant, then he should not look, but if he has made up his mind, then he may look.
  3. This looking should be without being alone with her, i.e., it is essential that she has one of her Mahrams with her.
  4. He should think it most likely that she and her family will accept. If he does not think it is most likely, then there is no point in looking, because his proposal will not be accepted, whether he looks at her or not.

In this situation, the woman must come out to the suitor looking ordinary; she should not come out wearing beautiful clothes or makeup, because she is not yet his wife.”

The practices of dolling up a girl, asking her to entertain her potential suitor’s family or dressing up to catch public attention for a future marriage proposal are high despicable.

Allah (swt) knows best.

Tags: authentic Islamic knowledge, daily Islam, deen, Deen solutions, enriching lives, family magazine, Hiba, Hiba Magazine, Islamic content, Islamic content for family, Islamic education, Islamic knowledge, Islamic solutions, Islamic values, living by Islam, muslim children, Muslim families, Muslim Lifestyle Magazine, practical solutions, practicing Deen, practicing Islam, practicing Muslim families, pressing issues, strong family, strong Muslim family, Tarbiyah, value added content
Da’wah Books
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun…

About author

About Author

Haadia

Freelance writer

Other posts by Haadia

Related posts

Youth Forum and Teen Talk
Read more

Respecting the Youth – A Real-Life Account

November 23, 2024
I sat quietly, after the Iman had finished the Fard prayers. The Masjid was in a hustle with the ladies joining the Saf before the... Continue reading
Youth Forum and Teen Talk
Read more

Studying Abroad and Staying Grounded

November 19, 2024
I grew up in a joint family. I shared a room with my sister and sometimes my cousins. There was never a dull moment. There... Continue reading
E-MAGAZINE
Read more

Islam on Judging Others and Violating their Honour

August 7, 2023
By Ammar Awais – Hiba’s team writer   In this age of extensive social media engagement, everyone is a publisher- we publish our views and... Continue reading
E-MAGAZINE
Read more

SAVING OUR YOUTH FROM ABANDONING ISLAM

July 10, 2023
By Maryam Sakeenah – Hiba’s team writer Given the uninhibited freedom of the social media, ‘ex Muslims’ who openly profess their abandonment of Islam are... Continue reading
Interviews & Profiles
Read more

Interview with Eman Rangoonwala – The Teen Counsellor

April 3, 2022
Exclusive inteview with Eman Rangoonwala, who counsels teenagers on various issues. Continue reading

Comments are closed

ABOUT US

  • Story of Hiba
  • Team
  • Contact

INFORMATION

  • Advertise
  • Write
  • Availability
  • My Account
  • Donate
  • Refunds & Exchange

SEARCH OUR WEBSITE

STAY CONNECTED

Facebook Instagram Pinterest Linkedin Whatsapp Email Youtube

Payment Options

 

 

 

COPYRIGHT © 2003-2024 – HIBA MAGAZINE