The Messenger of Allah (sa) said: “Indeed among the excellence of a person’s Islam is that he leaves what does not concern him.” (At-Tirmidhi) Perhaps, we’ve never needed these words more than today.
The Prophet (sa) used to speak in short, meaningful phrases, expressing through them lots of wisdom and benefit. The mentioned Hadeeth is a perfect example of it. These words lie at the foundations of the Islamic Ummah’s social culture, and only if people take heed of them, any society would be able to avoid many problems that are experienced today – both on individual and state level.
Many social ills sprout from the most ordinary human desires. For example, the stubbornness of a president, or the wish of common people to be in the centre of all scandals and intrigues. A huge industry is built to satisfy the latter, in which tremendous amounts of money are spent on acquiring ‘exclusive information’. Then even larger sums of money are earned through advertisement ratings that are based on blown-up gossip.
A great portion of society spends time and energy on doing the dirty laundry of people whom they have never met. They are interested in their personal lives: what they eat and wear, with whom they live, to whom they get married, from whom they get divorced, why they do it, or how they come out of maternity home…
Islam protects the dignity of a person, sparing him from humiliation and saving his time. Islam teaches people to live their own lives, without wishing for distant illusions which would never come true. Islam teaches not to ignore your own needs and goals at the expense of being submerged in everything we hear, read, and see.
It is difficult to imagine that people who have achieved something substantial in their lives – whether it would be knowledge (Shariah or other), business, or careers – would have spent their youth in empty maunderings over the lives of others. I remember how once in the newspaper editorial office, a journalist began to talk about a very then influential politician. Having heard what he had to say, Hajimurad Kalimov, who was not on the best terms with this politician, said: “Do you know how he achieved everything that he has now? He has been working hard his entire life and even now arrives to work at six in the morning and leaves at late night.” Most people who have achieved any success have done so by their own hard work.
Personal Questions
Of course, the above mentioned words of the Prophet (sa) also touch other more pressing topics. One of them is tactless questions, which have no concern whatsoever with the person who is asking them. We are often asked questions to which we are unwilling to give answers. And then there are also times when we ourselves do not notice our own rude behaviour towards others.
One of the most asked questions which we are not allowed to ask is regarding past sins. A person should not be telling others about his sins. When Allah (swt) conceals a person’s mistake from others, but he talks of it openly, he adds a sin to his book of deeds. Even if this sin is related to the rights of another person, we should try to restore the due rights, without uncovering our sin. The Messenger of Allah (sa) said: “All the people of my Ummah would get pardoned for their sins except those who publicize them.” (Muslim)
On another hand, Shariah strictly forbids deceit. If a person has committed a sin, and you are asking him about it, you are putting him in an uneasy situation. On one hand, he cannot lie, and on the other hand, he cannot expose his sin. In such a situation, he has to leave the question unanswered or give an ambiguous answer. For example, he can say: “Do you think I can possibly do such and such?” Or: “Such things can be done only by a hammerhead.” Or as the last resort, he can say: “No, I haven’t done this,” meaning that he has not done this sin lately.
Yet another example of tactless questions which go against the words of the Messenger of Allah (sa) are questions regarding family life and even at times details of intimate life. Women often ask: “Why don’t you still have children?” “When are you planning your next one?”… with the aim to find out the details of family life which are none of the concern for the outsiders.
For a man, it is completely out of place to ask regarding someone else’s wife. If there would be need for it, it should be done in a very delicate manner, without excessive words.
We should not bother people, even our close ones, with such questions as ‘where are you?’ ‘what are you doing?’ ‘whose phone call was it?’ and the like. It is acceptable if such questions fit the situation and help to keep up conversation. However, it is totally unacceptable to ask such questions simply out of curiosity, without any benefit to the one who is asking and causing unease to the one who is being asked.
Likewise, a wife should not fire questions at her husband in a phone call, especially if he is around other people.
Better Read Something
Ayahs and Hadeeths of the Prophet (sa) are significant not only because of their direct meaning but also because of the opposite one – the directions regarding the opposite. Thus, when a Hadeeth asks a person to leave what does not concern him, it is simultaneously implying to do something which is of importance for him.
If people would follow this Hadeeth, they would stop getting into the spheres where they become amateurs or downright rude. Thus, for example, questions of medical or Shariah matters would be asked from people who are competent to handle them even though this may cause some to become bored, without ‘scandals, intrigues, and investigations’ around.
Leaving what does not concern you helps you focus on what you need. It helps you become more effective and more goal-oriented. If a person stops talking about others, it may be so that he will become someone about whom others will talk. The time we have been given on this earth is not provided for indulging in gossip or envy. Leaving what does not concern us will definitely push us towards self-development and progress. Isn’t it better to read a few pages of a useful book than to spend half an hour discussing someone’s new IPhone?
Translated for Hiba Magazine by Laila Brence from www.islamcivil.ru
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