We do fall for someone at a point in time: maybe it’s the girl in the university or that super handsome guy who lives down the street. There is nothing wrong in being attracted to someone, as it’s a natural phenomenon. But, as Muslims, we must exercise caution so that we don’t get involved in anything that earns the wrath of the Almighty.
So the question here is that how do we save ourselves from a Haram relationship in a world where temptations are all around us?
Lower Your Gaze
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them. Lo! Allah is aware of what they do” [An-Noor 24:30]
The arrangement of blood vessels at the back of the eye, also known as the retina vasculature, is closely connected to the health of the heart. Whatever you see is very closely related to how your heart feels. So it is best to not cast a second look at those people or things you’re not supposed to look at in the first place.
Have Self-Esteem
Some people consider themselves inferior because they compare themselves to models, actors and successful people on the internet. Allah is the ultimate planner and whatever He plans is perfect. Did you know that you are included in His plan as well? It means that He made you as perfect as you could be. Embrace how you are created.
Know your worth and don’t fall for every other attractive person you see around you.
Marriage
Marriage was highly recommended by the Prophet (SA).
Narrated ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood: The Messenger of Allah (SA) said: “O young men! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power.” (Bukhari)
If you’re already in a relationship which you don’t want to end, then you should get married as soon as possible. Ask yourself the following questions about the person you intend to marry:
- How is their practice and understanding of Deen?
- How strong in their relationship with their family members?
- Will they stand by your side in tough times?
- Can they be a good parent if Allah blesses you a child?
If the above questions are satisfactorily answered, arrange for the two families to meet. Involve your parents or guardians because the elders have ample experience regarding a happy and successful marital relationship and life after marriage. It is better to involve them as they will consider only the best for you and give a better appraisal. Also, pray Salat-ul-Istikhara.
The best course of action for two people who are in love is marriage.
Marriage is the best solution, you’re saved from a Haram relationship, and instead of committing sins, you’ll be earning reward for nurturing your marital relationship and raising a family. And best of all, you are content to have the person you love beside you.
Going Cold Turkey
If you are in a relationship and you’re unable to get married for one reason or another, then it is best to end it. Try to involve yourself with other things. Make Dua and, most of all, have patience. Regulate your social media and smartphone use to ensure you keep your distance from that person. At the same time, ensure that you are in well guided company to fill the lonely hours. You can volunteer with mission oriented organizations also.
May Allah (swt) guide us all and help us overcome the trials of the contemporary world.
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