Rebuild your life – Know the Corruptors of your Heart – Part 1

Rana Rais Khan – Founder and Editor-in-Chief Hiba Family Resource Centre

Ibrahim at Tawejri, an Arab scholar has beautifully explained the five main root causes that corrupt a human heart. Why do we need to learn about this in the first place?

Simply because the unrest, oppression and darkness we witness in the world today is a consequence of human behaviour. We must ensure that we are not a part of it.

There are some specific reasons at the root of it all. The first corruptor of the heart has been discussed in this blog, while others in subsequent parts of the series. Try to read them up for an improved self-discovery and self-reform.

Excessive Socialization (Virtual and in-person)

But aren’t we social animals? Why does a human heart become corrupt when it engages excessively with people then? When we interact with others, some behavioral issues that surface are as follows:

Your focus departs from beneficial choices

Meeting people constantly makes your thoughts scattered and divided. The time and energy you were granted by Allah (swt) for goal oriented and purposeful life is wasted in long, useless conversations, constant emotional changes with each new person adding to your social gathering, forum, even work meetings, etc. Everyday a deliberate pause and solitude is absolutely critical for you to rethink your day, it’s happenings and the quality of your decisions in light of the Quran and the Sunnah especially if your job or roles are centred around people.

You were meant to take it one at a time

Prophet Muhammad (sa) was a unitasker and hence his achieved missions were perfect. Similarly, he addressed concerns of people turn by turn. Consequently, his relationships were brilliant. In today’s age of technology your gadgets and tools were meant to multi task for you. But you were sold the idea to multitask yourself. Know that too much interaction all the time for different reasons overwhelms humans unknowingly. A classic example is that of work from home jobs without a schedule.

When you no longer have defined work hours for your profession, it has eaten away at your personal and family life, all tugging you toward each other. Realize that you were not created to be wired all the time for varied jobs and relationships. It saps the joy out of life, leaving you guilty, miserable and assuming everyone as toxic.

You develop a constant sense of worry and concern

Interestingly, all social media platforms blatantly admit that they have contributed to depression globally. But as the warnings on a cigarette box do not deter smokers likewise people prone to chatting, texting and talking for long hours, pay no attention to this red flag.

When you over interact socially on social media groups their problems unconsciously play in your mind even when you have left them. The same goes for constant physical parties, clubbing and meetings. This has a negative impact on your own emotional state.

You develop FOMO (Fear of missing out)

Do you constantly feel the urge to check your status and screens? First thing after waking up, last thing before going to sleep, at meal times, when others are talking to you and even in the toilet, you are always in conversation with someone virtually. This obsession and disease If I dare to call it, has reduced the value of your true life experiences, observations, thinking and real life interactions. You need screen-free and people-free time to be conscious of life. Most of all you need to appreciate your own company too. And it is normal not to know everything happening in other’s lives in order to positively focus on your own.

Your private, constructive and reflective time is robbed

When your life is full of people all the time, you have no time to pause, think, plan or decide. That’s how human excellence is achieved. Otherwise you cannot tap into your true potential. Ask any designer, painter, writer, etc. They will all reiterate that creativity is unleashed when you are by yourself.

You fall into terrible sins taken lightly

People’s demands, their stories, their expectations, their approval and disapproval fill up your mind and heart space. You end up living a hundred lives instead of just your own. It is overwhelming listening to, thinking about and being dragged into other’s affairs. They also lead you to gossip after meeting someone. Back bite or criticize somebody before someone else. Tantalize you to spread rumours or tell upon others. These are enormous sins that bring losses and damage in your life and the grave.

Most importantly, you forsake your worship, purpose of life, etc.

A person’s interaction doesn’t just end with a conversation. The mind plays it again and again as mentioned earlier. The varied emotions rise and fall such as jealousy, rancor, self-pity, anger, arrogance, etc. depending upon each situation. A heart heavy with sinful emotions will not want to worship Allah (swt). With lesser and choicest social interactions, it’s easy to empty out your heart and purify yourself. You can talk to Allah (swt) in solitude and seek solutions. You can pray Salah with love and fear of Allah (swt). Do mindful Azkaar and teary Taubah.

Recommended Socialization

Allah (swt) states in the Quran: “… and cooperate in righteousness and piety, but do not cooperate in sin and aggression. And fear Allah indeed. Allah is severe in penalty.” (Al Maidah 5:2)

Following are interactions that are dignified and endorsed:

Meet for Islamic gatherings upon conclusion of Allah’s (swt) worship. For e.g. for Salat-ul-Jumuah every week, for Hajj annually or Umrah or to celebrate the two Eids.
Gather to plan and discuss Dawah activities.
Organize community service projects.
Join hands to enjoin good and forbid evil.
Arrange workshops to impart or gain Islamic and other beneficial knowledge.
Offer counseling, therapy or other healing opportunities.
Plan a fund raiser to support collection of donation and charity for a Halal cause.
Meet to build skills, execute projects or impart secular knowledge that is Halal and beneficial for everyone.

Word of caution is that the above should also be time constrained and agenda based interactions. They should not become endless forums of debate and discussion wasting time and energy.

Recommended Behaviour upon Forced Displeasing Socialization

Allah (swt) states: “Say O my servants who have believed, fear your Lord. For those who do good in this world is good and the earth of Allah is spacious. Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account (i.e. limits).”

(Az Zumur 39:10)

Sometimes due to professional, societal, financial, family or other pressures you are forced to attend events that are of no benefit. For e.g. ostentatious weddings, family gatherings or job related parties, etc.

Allah Ar-Raoof, the Compassionate guides beautifully and orders to keep your heart detached from them in spite of attending such gatherings when you have been constrained in some ways and cannot escape them. So physically you are present but mindfully you are not there.

When the meal is served you can shift the attention of the guests to the numerous bounties laid out on the table, remembering Allah (swt).
Do not recall the event after it is over otherwise it becomes part of your memory.
Do not comment on it or discuss with others.
Ask Allah (swt) for help to escape it in future.

Allah (swt) states: “… Say, ‘Indeed, [all] bounty is in the hand of Allah. He grants it to whom He wills. And Allah is All Encompassing and Wise.’ He selects for His mercy whom He wills and Allah is the possessor of great bounty.” (Al Imran 3:73-74)

Find out the remaining four corruptors of the heart in Part 2 and 3 of this series.

Partially adapted from a course taught by Safiya Khan – ‘A Path to Spiritual Awakening.’