Oblivious to how he ended up in this gruesome state, his sanity deteriorated as his stress levels climbed. Unable to focus on tasks at hand, he routinely quarrelled with his wife and neglected his children. He was losing money hand over fist and the disapproval of people around him made his life a living nightmare. Unfortunately he’d fallen prey to an illegal yet widely common activity in Pakistan: sports betting. It took him a long time to admit he was addicted and get help from a rehab facility.
He did not realise that treatment would be so difficult. The rehab owner challenged him to spend three weeks in the Malir rehab. Belonging to an elite family, he was a well-educated, accomplished father of three, luxuriously living in DHA Karachi. He was asked to stay at a place full of barely literate addicts, where it would be hard to last days, let alone weeks. But there was one thing he did not lack: willpower.
His stay at the Malir rehab was horrifying. The living conditions were revolting and his fellow inmates were gambling, smoking, and alcohol and drug addicts. Many of them had committed crimes such as theft and even murder to satisfy their urges. He realised to what depths he could fall if he didn’t persevere in fighting his addiction.
The reason for the 3-week challenge, the rehab owner explained, was that he needed to be ‘broken’ before he could repaired. He explained that addicts either end up in jail, or a mental institute, or commit suicide. The tragedy is that people don’t see their condition as an illness, rather they are treated as criminals or pitied. Statistically, one out of six people genetically vulnerable to addiction upon the slightest exposure. Perhaps this is why Islam teaches us to not go near such menaces.
“O you who have believed, indeed, intoxicants, gambling, [sacrificing on] stone alters [to other than Allah], and divining arrows are but defilement from the work of Satan, so avoid it that you may be successful.” (Al-Maidah 5:90)
After analysing his mental state, his family relations, financial issues, and social difficulties, the rehab owner revealed to him the bitter truth as to why he fell into this mess. He was a victim of a dysfunctional family with a subconscious childhood trauma. Betting offered him an escape from reality so he became addicted.
This man was born with a silver spoon, but his mother, unfortunately, was overly controlling. She used to scold him for not completing his voluntary acts of worships such as Nafl prayers, thinking that this would make him understand their importance. Yet over the years, the pleasure of praying left his heart altogether. His mother indeed loved him, but her authoritative attitude and interference scarred him for life.
The rehab owner called in the man’s family for therapy as well, explaining to the mother how her harsh parenting was linked to the man’s addiction. Family therapy was necessary so that their changed attitude could ensure a complete and lasting rehabilitation.
Now the former 42 year old betting addict lives a well-established life with his wife and adorable children. It’s hard to believe that he was once an addict. He still goes for therapy every few weeks so that he doesn’t relapse.
Disciplining children is necessary, but overdoing it takes away their ability to positively exercise free will. Children comply initially but as they grow up, some find an escape in hanging out with dubious friends, some get involved in drugs and intoxicants and some suffer severe depression.
Therefore, it is essential for parenting to evolve with time and depend on the child’s personality. Finally, one should not impose one’s own unfulfilled wishes on them. Khaled Hosseini wisely said “Children aren’t coloring books. You don’t get to fill them with your favorite colors.”
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