by Alia Moin Adil
Certified Life Coach, Freelance Writer
In the hustle and bustle of modern life, the virtues of gentleness and an easygoing nature stand out as timeless assets. Not only do these qualities improve personal wellbeing but also promote healthier relationships.
Al Hayyin is from the root letters haa-wow-noon
According to Mudratifaat al Quran it means ‘easy; to make easy’. Moreover, it has an element of gentleness in it. The kind of gentleness which includes Sakeenah (tranquility) and grace. Indeed, a praiseworthy attribute.
Gentleness is often misunderstood as a weakness. In reality, it is a sign of remarkable strength, emotional intelligence and self-control. Being gentle and kind does not mean avoiding confrontation, rather it involves approaching people and challenging situations with calmness and understanding. Gentleness is a beautiful quality that adorns the one who practices it.
Abdullah ibn Mughaffal reported: The Messenger of Allah (sa) said: “Verily, Allah is gentle, and he loves gentleness.” [Abu Dawood]
An easygoing person has a flexible attitude towards life and its challenges. It echoes emotional stability. An easygoing nature helps to maintain inner peace and handle stress more effectively. Such a person can embrace life’s challenges and imperfections much better, knowing that it is impossible to have control over every aspect of one’s life.
Abdullah bin Masood (rta) reported: The Messenger of Allah (sa) said: “Shall I not tell you of one forbidden for Hellfire? It is everyone accessible, polite, and easygoing.” [Tirmidhi]
Benefits of being Gentle and Easygoing
- Boosts Relationships
An easygoing attitude and gentleness are the building blocks of healthy relationships and a strong society. When people feel comfortable and safe around a person, they are more likely to trust and invest in that relationship. Allah (swt) stated in the Quran: “So, by mercy from Allāh, [O Muḥammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you.” (Ale Imran, 3:159)
- Promotes Inner Peace
An easygoing nature helps reduce stress and anxiety and face life’s challenges with clarity and grace. A flexible approach to life helps maintain emotional balance and inner tranquility.
Even non-Musims recognize the benefit of gentleness. “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” [Mother Teresa]
- Improves Emotional Intelligence
The ability to effectively understand and navigate emotions is closely tied to gentleness. These traits enhance empathy, self-awareness, and interpersonal skills essential in personal as well as professional life.
“The ability to be calm and gentle in the face of adversity is a reflection of emotional intelligence and inner strength.” [unknown]
- Builds Resilience
An easygoing person can bounce back from challenges more easily and quickly, by not overreacting to setbacks, and handling them with grace and composure. He/she doesn’t waste energy and time brewing destructive thoughts and hence regains emotional health faster.
“Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength.” [Saint Francis de Sales]
- Reduces Conflict
A gentle approach can diffuse tension and prevent misunderstandings. This helps promote harmonious relationships.
Anas ibn Malik (rta) reported: The Prophet (sa) said: “Make things easy and do not make things difficult. Make people calm and do not frighten them away.” [Bukhari]
- Enhances Health and Wellbeing
When a person is stressed or overwhelmed with negative emotions such as anger, it negatively impacts their overall health. Adopting an easygoing nature helps stay relaxed and healthy.
“A calm and gentle approach not only heals relationships but also soothes the mind and body.” [unknown]
Practical Ways to Cultivate these Qualities:
- Control the negative internal chatting
Shaitan’s whispers lead us to judge people internally and quarrel with them externally. Beware of this trap before any conversation begins with difficult people especially.
- Listen Attentively
Show genuine interest in other people’s perspectives. Make them feel heard.
- Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness helps approach situations with composure. It is helpful in responding thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.
- Embrace Flexibility
Viewing challenges as opportunities for growth instead of hurdles helps keep us grounded.
- Develop Patience
A gentle and easygoing nature requires patience. Learn to practice tolerance when faced with tests and difficult people.
- Have Empathy
Looking at things from the other person’s perspective makes one more compassionate and understanding.
- Keep Smiling and think of something to be thankful for
A smile is a powerful, yet simple way to connect with others and maintain cordial relationships. Gratitude keeps us afloat and prevents us from falling into self-pity or animosity.
- Be Forgiving
Learn to ignore and move on. Not every action deserves a reaction.
Lessons from the Quran and Seerah
As mentioned in Surah Al Furqan, one of the qualities of Ebad ur Rahman (Servants of the Rahman) is that they tread gently upon the earth. It’s not just about their gait but the overall demeanor of gentleness, compassion and glad tidings.
In the Quran, Allah (swt) instructs Musa and Harun to speak gently with the Pharoah. Pharoah had transgressed all bounds, yet Allah (swt) tells Musa (as) to engage him using soft speech. Why? The wisdom behind this is that soft speech has the power to penetrate even the hardest of hearts. A person’s kind attitude and gentle dealing draws people towards them.
When the Prophet (sa) went to Taif to invite its people to Islam, they rejected him and incited children and mobs to throw stones at him, causing him severe injuries. Despite their cruelty, when the Angel of the Mountains offered to crush the people of Taif between the mountains, the Prophet (sa) refused.
Instead, he prayed for their guidance, saying: “I hope that Allah will bring forth from their descendants those who will worship Him alone.” [Bukhari and Muslim]. Less than ten years later, Taif was conquered, and most of its inhabitants accepted Islam, including many who were alive at the time the Angel of the Mountains offered to destroy it.
Conclusion
Having gentleness and an easygoing nature are not just personality traits, rather they are conscious choices that reflect wisdom, strength, and emotional maturity. At a time when the world is witnessing division and hostility, these qualities act as bridges, connecting hearts and establishing unity. By embracing these qualities, we not only enrich our lives but also create harmony and peace around us.
Remember, the gentlest of hearts leave the most profound impact.
“In a gentle way, you can shake the world.” [Gandhi]
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