What is Istikharah?
The term Istikharah linguistically originated from the Arabic word Khair. It means to seek what has Khair and what entails goodness. Istikharah is consulting Allah and seeking His guidance, wisdom, and goodness in our matters.
Imam Bukhari recorded that Jabir bin Abdullah (rtam) narrated: The Prophet (sa) used to teach us the way of doing Istikharah in all matters, as he taught us the Surahs of the Quran. He said: “If anyone of you thinks of doing any job, he should offer a two Rakat prayer other than the compulsory ones and say (after the prayer):
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْتَخِيرُكَ بِعِلْمِكَ وَأَسْتَقْدِرُكَ بِقُدْرَتِكَ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ فَضْلِكَ الْعَظِيمِ، فَإِنَّكَ تَقْدِرُ وَلاَ أَقْدِرُ وَتَعْلَمُ وَلاَ أَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتَ عَلاَّمُ الْغُيُوبِ، اللَّهُمَّ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الأَمْرَ خَيْرٌ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاقْدُرْهُ لِي وَيَسِّرْهُ لِي ثُمَّ بَارِكْ لِي فِيهِ، وَإِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الأَمْرَ شَرٌّ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاصْرِفْهُ عَنِّي وَاصْرِفْنِي عَنْهُ، وَاقْدُرْ لِي الْخَيْرَ حَيْثُ كَانَ ثُمَّ أَرْضِنِي بِهِ
“O Allah! I ask guidance from Your knowledge, and power from Your might, and I ask for Your great blessings. You are capable and I am not. You know and I do not, and You know the unseen. O Allah! If You know that this matter [mention the matter here] is good for my religion and my subsistence and in my Hereafter, then You ordain it for me and make it easy for me to get, and then bless me in it. If You know that this matter [mention the matter here] is harmful to me in my religion and subsistence and in the Hereafter, then keep it away from me and let me be away from it. And ordain for me whatever is good for me and make me satisfied with it.”
Decision Making
Decision making consists of three steps.
- To begin with, we must use our intellect, evaluate all the options available to us, take into consideration our current situation, and examine and research the matter at hand.
- The next step is to consult people of knowledge and experience in the area pertaining to our matter. This is also called Istisharah. Once we have come to a final decision after carefully going through the first two steps, the third and final step is Istikharah.
- Now that we have come to a decision and want Allah (swt) to place Khair in it, it is time to pray two Rakah, make the Dua of Istikharah and go forth with the decision.
Istikharah can be done for anything major or minor: changing jobs, moving from one city to another, considering a marriage proposal, or enrolling into a university. When doing Istikharah, we ask Allah (swt) to allow it to take place if it is good for us and take it away from us if it is bad for us. Subsequently, we implement our decision knowing that Allah (swt) will facilitate the path we have chosen, if there is Khair in it for us. However, if that decision is not good for us, He will block that path, thereby protecting us from harm.
Why do bad things happen even after taking Allah’s (swt) counsel and praying Salat-al-Istikharah?
When after performing Istikharah we do not find desirable outcome, the following questions may arise:
- Why did my marriage end in divorce, even though I did Istikharah?
- Why am I having a tough time with my boss at work, despite performing Istikharah before taking up this job?
- Why am I having issues with my neighbours, although I shifted to this new place after doing Istikharah?
Yasir Qadhi explains: “Praying Istikharah does not mean you have signed a foolproof money back guarantee deal that no problem will occur and everything will be rosy. That is not the correct understanding of the philosophy of Istikharah. All Istikharah ensures is that you have the blessings of Allah (swt) backing your choice.”
Often people make mistakes in understanding Istikharah. Praying Istikharah before marriage does not mean that you are never going to have a divorce.
“We need to reflect upon the wording of the Istikharah Dua,” says Mufti Menk. “In the Dua, we do not ask Allah (swt) that if my marriage will end in divorce, then do not make it happen. Rather, what we asked for was: ‘If this is good for me in my religion, my worldly life, and my afterlife, then decree it and facilitate it for me with ease…’”
“Perhaps divorce was actually good for your religion, worldly life and afterlife. Maybe you were supposed to connect with Allah (swt) more through this experience and get closer to Him. Maybe you were supposed to become a better person and learn to depend on none other than Allah (swt). Perhaps you will marry a much better person, than the one you were divorced from.”
Praying Istikharah would mean that getting married was better for you at that particular time in your life than remaining single. If that marriage now ends for whatever reason, it was still better for you to have gone through the experience of getting married than to not have done so.
It is a fact that this Dunya is a place of trials and tribulations. One must not forget that the messengers and prophets of Allah (swt) always took counsel from Him; yet, they endured the most difficult of hardships. As Yaqeen Institute puts it across: “Trials do not mean things are bad. They mean you are a Muslim, whose Iman is being strengthened by Allah (swt) through such apparently ‘bad things’. Nothing is truly bad, if it brings you closer to Allah (swt) through increased prayers.”
We might have aversion towards something, but there may be good in it for us. Likewise, we might think something to be good, but it may not be beneficial to us. A matter can be beneficial to us in this world but damaging for us in the Hereafter. This is the reason we seek guidance from Allah, the All Knowing, the All-Wise. The Quran advises us: “But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not. (Al-Baqarah 2:216)
We place our trust in our Rabb for the outcome, for He knows best and we do not. Any regret after acting on our decision post-Istikharah would be to doubt Allah’s (swt) wisdom and guidance.
So yes, it is possible that despite having done Istikharah, we suffer difficulties. This is because Allah (swt) knows that it was better for us to go through that hardship – there was Khair in it for us, which is exactly what we had asked from Him at the time of making our decision.
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