By
Sadaf Azhar – Sub Editor Hiba magazine
Astonishingly, amongst the least praiseworthy group of Companions who accepted Islam after the Conquest of Makkah in 8 AH was the Prophet’s (saw) foster brother, Abu Sufyan bin Al Harith (rta).
Early life
Abu Sufyan was his Kunyah. He was born around the same time (maybe same year) as the Prophet (saw). Halima Saadiyah (rta) nursed Abu Sufyan ibn Al Harith (rta) as well, which made him the Prophet’s (saw) foster-brother. He married Ali’s (rta) sister, Jumana, the daughter of Abu Talib and had a son named Jaafar.
His love for Prophet Muhammad (saw) before Islam
Abu Sufyan (rta) resembled the Prophet (saw) strikingly. Likewise, he too was extremely eloquent and well mannered. He used to author poetry extolling the beauty of tribes and lofty personalities, focusing on the best traits of Arabs and Makkans. They shared a strong, loving bond and used to bring gifts for each other from their journeys.
Abu Sufyan’s (rta) hatred for Prophet Muhammad (saw) after prophet hood
When the Prophet (saw) received revelation, Abu Sufyan ibn Harith (rta) turned his back on the Prophet (saw). All his siblings embraced Islam before the Conquest of Makkah. His wife also embraced Islam- she couldn’t understand his enmity towards the Prophet (saw).
Before converting to Islam, Abu Sufyan (rta) wrote derogatory poems about the beloved Prophet (saw) that reflected envy, anger and the rupture of deep bonds. He resented that the Prophet hood shook up Makkan society and ‘compromised’ the status of Banu Hashim.
Hassan bin Thabit (rta) and Abu Sufyan (rta) exchanged pages and pages of poetry and people would parrot them. Hassan bin Thabit’s (rta) poetry was mean because it shredded apart the enemy’s tribe and family, pecking on weaknesses- justified in certain circumstances.
Since Abu Sufyan (rta) and the Prophet (saw) were closely related, The Prophet (saw) asked Hassan (rta): ‘How will you spare me?’ Hassan (rta) replied: ‘O Messenger of Allah, don’t worry. I will extract you as you extract a hair from yeast.’
Abu Sufyan (rta) fought every single battle against the Prophet (saw) and so was guilty of using both his tongue and his sword against the Prophet (saw).
Abu Sufyan’s (rta) conversion to Islam
He finally accepted Islam after the Conquest of Makkah,
When the Prophet (saw) reached Jofa, a valley near Makkah where Allah (swt) had promised him the return to Makkah, Abu Sufyan realized that he was trapped. He wondered who could support him. He told his wife he didn’t know what to do and she replied: ‘The whole world is embracing Islam, the Arabs and the non- Arabs. You’re the one insisting on this enmity when you should have been the first person to support him.’ Abu Sufyan felt ashamed. He had lost the opportunity to become a blessed Companion for over 20 years.
He wrapped his face, took his servant and left his camel at a distance away from the Prophet’s (saw) camp and walked to it. He went to the Prophet (saw) and uncovered his face but the Prophet (saw) turned away from him. He tried repeatedly, but the Prophet (saw) kept avoiding eye contact. Note that the Prophet (saw) did not remonstrate or ask him to leave. He clearly forgave him but he didn’t want to interact with him.
The Muslims noticed that Abu Sufyan (rta) upset the Prophet (saw) so they got angry. Abu Bakr (rta) told him to go away. Omar (rta) was even harsher. One of the young Ansar insulted him and called him the enemy of Allah (swt). The Companions could not bear to see the Prophet (saw) hurt.
He left and approached their uncle, Al Abbas (rta). Al Abbas interceded for him and for Abdullah ibn Abi Ummayah. The Prophet (saw) acknowledged their acceptance of Islam but he found it hard to forget how they had harmed and hurt him. Al Abbas (rta) and Ali (rta) asked them to be patient and let time heal the Prophet’s (saw) heart.
The Prophet (saw) granted him and his wife a pension from Khyber and integrated him into Madinah society as his brother.
Through Al Abbas’s intercession, he requested the Prophet (saw) to restrain people from insulting him and the Prophet (saw) agreed. Yet remained distant. This hurt him, and he decided to take his son and move out into the desert and live there till he died. However, the Quraysh women came and asked for forgiveness, including his wife Jumana which the Prophet (saw) accepted. Abu Sufyan (rta) then came and recited the Shahadah in front of the Prophet (saw) himself and asked for forgiveness. Then the Prophet (saw) asked Ali (rta) to teach him Wudu and Salah and to speed him up on his religion. The Prophet (saw), however, still did not smile at him.
Abu Sufyan (rta) finally recited some poetry to the Prophet (saw) acknowledging his sins and misguidance in an effort to soften the Prophet (saw). Instead, the Prophet (saw) coldly agreed that, Abu Sufyan did drive him out of Makkah with all his might.
Prophet Muhammad (saw) forgave and made Dua for Abu Sufyan (rta)
On the day of battle of Hunain, when they were attacked on all sides and the Muslims were in chaos. Abu Sufyan (rta) was one of the few people who remained steadfast.
Al Abbas (rta) held the rein of the Prophet’s (saw) mule on one side while the Prophet (saw) was swinging his sword to ward off the attack. Abu Sufyan positioned himself on the other side but since their faces were all covered, the Prophet (saw) couldn’t recognize him and asked Al Abbas (rta) who this fighter was. Al Abbas (rta) replied: ‘Your brother, Abu Sufyan.’ The Prophet (saw) smiled and welcomed him with a Dua for Allah (swt) to bless him.
Finally, it was at the end of the battle of Hunain, when the Prophet (saw) embraced him and uttered treasured words for him: ‘I hope now that he (Abu Sufyan) is a replacement for me for Hamza.’ Al Abbas asked him: ‘Have you forgiven him, O Messenger of Allah?’ The Prophet (saw) replied: ‘I have forgiven him and I have asked Allah to grant him Jannah.’ We learn that one of the burdens of our sins is that we have to be patient and persistent in our efforts to redeem ourselves.
Abu Sufyan (rta) as a believer
For the rest of his life, he lived in the Masjid. He would pray and recite the Quran, his eyes often welling with tears and rarely talked to anyone.
Ayesha (rta) had been too young to remember the bond between the Prophet (saw) and Abu Sufyan (rta) so the Prophet (saw) shocked her by introducing him as his paternal cousin, ‘the first one to enter the Masjid, the last person to leave it and his eyes never leave his sandals.’ He sincerely repented and died in a state of repentance.
During the early part of Omar’s (rta) caliphate, he performed Hajj. The barber accidently struck a cyst on Abu Sufyan’s (rta) head that became fatally infected. When he realized he wasn’t going to live much longer, he went out to Baqi cemetery and dug his own grave near the graves of the Prophet (saw) and his Companions.
The people were stunned and asked him why he was doing so- he looked healthy enough to recover. He prayed to Allah (swt) to let him follow the Prophet (saw) and his own brother Nowfil who had also recently passed away. Three days later, his family gathered around him weeping. He asked them to stop crying, swearing by Allah (swt) that he had not sinned since the day he accepted Islam.
The biography of Abu Sufyan (rta) poignantly illustrates the mercy in the Prophet’s (saw) heart- he not only forgave him but facilitated the Dunya for him and prayed for Jannah for his Hereafter! Like the noble example of Yusuf (as) and his erring brothers, the brotherhood between them was restored.
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