Should Chai and Biscuits Be Enough?

By

Sadaf Azhar – Assistant Senior Editor Hiba Magazine

Instagram aesthetics and social media trends have made hosting an uphill challenge. From table décor themes, viral recipes and up-thrifting to extensive menus, games and giveaways, parties are physically, emotionally and financially exhausting. So, are we justified in avoiding this inconvenience and spiraling cost?

Ibrahim: ‘Father of guests’

Allah (swt) states in the Quran, that Ibrahim (as) hosted the angels disguised as travelers:

“And certainly did Our messengers [i.e. angels] come to Abraham with good tidings; they said: ‘Peace’. He said: ‘Peace,’ and did not delay in bringing [them] a roasted calf.” (Hud 11: 69)

Ibrahim (as) was the first person to initiate the act of personally hosting people in his own home, offering them food available at his own house. For this reason, he is called the ‘Father of the guests’.

There are a few points worth noting about this single verse about hosting.

• Ibrahim (as) did not know these men but he replied to their greeting of ‘peace’ with a more emphatic greeting of ‘peace’ (difficult to convey in translation) that denoted delight in its welcome.
• They were strangers and yet he invited them home and offered them a meal. Hosting at home is intrusive and it causes the host considerable inconvenience, but it ingrains a love and Ihsaan that bonds us socially. The Messenger of Allah (sa) said:

“My Love becomes an entitlement for two who love one another for my sake, and two who visit one another for my sake.” (Imam Malik)

• The Quran says he ‘did not delay’ and brought a roasted calf.  Roasting a calf takes much time and effort so it shows that this was something that was already present in the house, probably for the family, hence Ibrahim (as) presented to his guests.
• The following verse also shows us that Ibrahim (as) insisted that his guests eat and felt anxious when they did not reach out for the food. This shows that he was observing them himself.
• The fact that Ibrahim (as) was solicitous about strangers in his house teaches us that guests should not be entertained on the basis of their relation or status. Rather, hosting is a form of Dawah, a beautiful form of displaying the manners of a good Muslim. Contrast this with the incident in Surah Al Kahf, where some townspeople refused to host Musa (as) and Khidr (as), whom Musa (as) condemned.

The reward for serving guests

The Prophet (sa) served guests himself and encouraged others to do so as well. He accepted invitations and always made Dua for his hosts, asking Allah (swt) to bless them further.

“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honour his guest.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)

He even encouraged the poor members of society to share their provisions. He advised Abu Dharr (rta) to add more water to broth in order to share it with neighbours. The idea of hosting, sharing and taking care of guests is to build communal bonds.

Guests: preserve and attract Rizq

But why did the Prophet (sa) emphasize hosting to even the poorest members of the Muslim community? Your guest’s provisions come to him through you. Your guest does not eat of your Rizq; rather, Allah (swt) makes you a means of sustenance and shelter for him.

Shaqeeq al Balkhi says: “There is nothing more I like than hosting guests, because his Rizq is on Allah and the reward comes to me any way.”

Allah (swt) tests us through our blessings. Sharing and therefore hosting, are forms of gratitude towards Allah (swt) and His creation. This gratitude not only ‘keeps’ our blessings but invites other blessings that we may yearn for.

Consider the example of Ibrahim (as) and the angels again. The roasted calf was Rizq for Ibrahim (as) and his family but Allah (swt) had not ordained it Rizq for the angels so they did not partake of it despite being offered the meal. Conversely, they brought glad tidings of another form of Rizq for Ibrahim (as) and his wife- the news that they would have a son despite their old age.

Overburdened hosts

Despite the promised reward, people value their privacy and comfort more, and so carefully plan and curate welcoming guests. This cultural shift is the result of overburdening themselves to entertain guests. Excessive expenditure and formality make it impossible to either visit frequently or host often.

Muhammad ibn Sireen, a Tabi’, advised: “Don’t honour your friend in a way that would burden him.”

Ibrahim (as) did not slaughter and roast a calf after the arrival of his guests. He presented what was already available at home.

Simplicity in generosity

Contrary to our perception, the Prophet (sa) encouraged simplicity in hosting guests- generosity and simplicity can co-exist. There is an Arab saying: ‘Generosity is giving from what is available’.

Salman al Farsi (rta) once entertained a guest with bread and salt only because that was what was available in his house. He explained that the Prophet (sa) forbade anyone going out of the way for anyone.

So don’t host in a lavish manner that leaves your host perplexed over having to choose what not to eat. Extravagance in hosting may stem from the idea of honoring the guest, but it is detrimental to individual finances, health, effort and time and it sets a negative precedent in society when individuals race to outdo one another in hosting a string of themed parties, lavish buffets and expensive goody bags.

Check your intentions

Perhaps the best way to hosting in a balanced way is to check who you are seeking to please and why. Do you seek Allah’s (swt) pleasure by serving your guests or are you seeking to achieve an ‘Ideal Host label’ from society? So, should you continue meeting in cafes and keeping in touch through group chats or should Chai and biscuits be enough to entertain your guests and nurture your faith and friendship that your children can emulate?

(Based on Shaykh Muhammad Elshinawy’s lecture)